The challenge of engagement.

Aging Introvert

After a recent incident in the community, I retreated to a motel where I could be alone. I stayed there for three nights, ruminating about what happened. When I came back, I started to realize how frightened I am of conflict. My lifelong pattern is to internalize it. I take all conflict within and try to figure it out on my own.

This morning I began wondering if, in fact, all conflict is internal. Obviously, there are many cases in which one can be the unfortunate victim of conflict that is started by someone else, or by a particular group – but when conflict comes up in one’s own personal domain, where does it originate?

I generally jump to the conclusion that someone else is originating whatever conflict comes into my life, and this leads to my thinking that it’s someone else’s fault. I start my “they” are doing this…

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