I need to find out exactly what bothers me and investigate it. It’s not enough to just register what I don’t like and judge it as bad. That’s too simplistic. I am an intelligent, wise person. There is a reason for everything I say to myself. All thoughts come from somewhere.
Yesterday I remembered a photo of my family sitting at a picnic table at a company sponsored event. I have no memory of the event itself but just seeing my family alone at this table spoke volumes about how I was brought up. My mother judged everyone according to a rigid value system that only she understood. As far as I know, nobody we came in contact with ever met her standards of acceptability.
She grew up with an alcoholic father who subjected her to horrific beatings because he was angry. As she could not hate him, she started…
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